The ‘Lifeless’ Friend.

It is far from truth to say that only blood relations are thicker or last longer. Nowadays, in fact, one finds the tide turning other way round. Relations last long when there is an innate bonding between the two, when there is no greed or selfishness involved. One can relate to anybody and that relationship can last forever, even a lifeless object can be your trustworthy buddy. By the way, there is nothing lifeless in this world, modern physics is finally proving what our age old sages wrote a few thousand years before.

The prelude to this blog entry necessitated because, i had a deep bonding with one such ‘lifeless’ object, the relationship lasted for over three decades, until a fortnight ago.

I was in third division in the early eighties, when my dad purchased this, it was a large almirah, a cupboard. I was a small boy then, those were the days of meager resources not only for our household but for the society as a whole. Having a color television, or a landline phone suddenly raised your bar a few notches above others. So this almirah, a strong metal bodied chrome colored piece of work, with a large mirror embedded on the left door arrived almost unannounced. When i reached home from my school, it was a pleasant surprise, i was very happy, actually, that cupboard was of not much use to me as i always led a much-unorganized lifestyle then and even today. I was so small then that i could barely see myself in the mirror then, the cupboard witnessed my growth, physical and in all aspects. I would dress myself everyday standing in front of that cupboard and slowly, that love, that bond, that relationship developed. The cupboard witnessed all ups and downs in our lives, more downs than ups though. It had a safe, where one could keep ornaments money and valuables, most of the times it would be the most vacant space in the cupboard. Like most of the kids of my age then, I used the almirah many a times, to hide my answer sheets which sometimes would not very presentable anyways. The cupboard stood firmly with us, it bored the brunt of our financial instability, as we changed houses, during monsoon it used to sink in knee deep waters, but, still stood firmly, no corrosion, no loss of paint, no scratches, its mirror smiled. It in fact, taught me a silent lesson, how to withstand a rough weather.

I had no plans to bid a goodbye to this loyal friend of mine, who was with me for over 35 years. But, i shifted to a new house. A newly renovated house suddenly makes your things look old and outdated. So the first thing in my wive’s no list was this almirah. I had to keep it in my old house hoping against the hope that someday i may be able to bring it to my new house. The cupboard now was empty and gave a deserted look.

Suddenly a tenant came calling and i had to empty the house. I now had no alibi to retain the best friend of mine.

So a scrap dealer was called, i did not wished to see my lovely treasure store of memories pass away. The dealer tightly tied ropes around it and most ruthlessly brought it downstairs caring less about damages. I felt very helpless and sad to go. It was not just a piece of metal for me, it was my companion for more than three decades

If you create a bond a relationship with even a lifeless object they talk with you, you only need to be that sensitive to understand. I talk with my tiger shark, i talk with my plants and they all respond. My readers may think i am a nut, so be it.

I inquired with the scrap dealer assistant what they do with these scraps, just to understand, the agony my friend was to undergo, i was pleasantly surprised. He told me that they would repaint it, do minor repair works and again sell it to someone. Poor people who cannot afford costly cupboards buy such old refurbished goods.

I was happy, happy that my friend would not be broken into pieces, It was once again going to adorn the house of somebody. Yet another child like me would stand in front of it and befriend it for years.

Bye bye my friend and best wishes for your new journey, i will miss you forever..

The adorable foreigner

I had my share of interactions with the foreigners on a couple of occasions, those were not for such a long period or the tone of the interactions was more of a formal kind. The closest interaction for a longer duration of time was with one Israeli diplomat. We had met in some seminar and he was stuck up with his laptop. His presentation was scheduled up and his laptop failed to respond. Someone suggested him to take my help, I don’t know what exactly I did, but the laptop started, the desktop screen opened, with that his face brightened. He breathed a sigh of relief. The desktop wallpaper was of a beach of Goa, so I casually asked him whether he clicked that beautiful picture himself in Goa. The diplomat asked how I recognized the photo, I said, I belonged to that part of the world. The person instantly felt a strong connection with me, he said Goa is my second home, as his wife belonged there. He intently inquired many a thing about me, the place where I belonged etc. He gave his visiting card to me and promised to stay in touch. After that, we exchanged a few emails. Our busy lives ensured that the connect ended there.

Some days ago, I received an email from a P.hd scholar from the Netherlands. He was studying the effect of Self Help Groups and Women Empowerment activities in developing economies. He was one Mr.Robin.  He wanted to meet our team for the interactions. We invited him for the same. We agreed.

So, on that weekend a well built European came calling, what I liked about the western people was that they are not so very conscious about their mannerism. They don’t carry a mask with them, they are very expressive and very informal. We had some formal discussions with him, we gave him a presentation and he began his talks. Slowly we started opening up and began informal chats. He chatted on various topics and we proposed him to join us the very next day for the trip to  Pune, where we had some event.  Instantly, he said, “why not, sure”. We decided to assemble at the same place next day at 7 am.

The next day, the gentleman was there are at sharp 7 am. We assembled as per our sense of Indian Standard Time. Our trip started at around 8 am. And then as the journey began our talks began, we talked and shared quite a few stories and anecdotes. Robin now was an entirely different person, he was very jovial, he was around 28 years old, but, still maintained that impish looks in his mannerism. He was very talkative and had a very expressive face, one moment before he would make the sad face the other moment his face would brighten up. We are much more poker-faced in that respect.

He had a very good understanding of this big mix called India. He had been to this country seven times before and had traveled extensively. His inquisitive nature ensures that he is more well informed about quite a lot of things.  He is open to newer ideas and carries a very idealistic view of everything.

As the day progressed, we had thrown off the boundaries and inhibitions and were like close friends. He asked my colleagues’ many Marathi words. He wanted to know how to say “Are you mad?” in Marathi. My friend told him “veda ahes ka?”. The guy recited it and intermittently asked anybody “veda ahes ka?” It was a funny moment for us.

As the event began, Mr.Robin, the researcher started making mental notes, suddenly, he started clicking pictures. We gave him five minutes to speak.  The assembled crowd enjoyed the interaction. Later, he interacted with many participants and asked him many questions. The man was highly impressed by all this.

The day ended quickly and as we returned late in the evening. We were tired and worn out, but, the inquisitive Robin would not stop asking many a story. My friend suddenly asked him to tell a ghost story from his country. And, didn’t we really enjoy it? Mr.Robin was truly a genuine storyteller.

People do carry very wrong conceptions about foreigners, they look different, they behave differently, but, that is perhaps because they are less hypocrites than we are. They behave as they are, which we don’t do.

We will be in touch with Mr.Robin and will be relishing every bit of his stories in coming days as he will be in India for the next seven months or so.